Post by Echo on Aug 22, 2011 23:33:13 GMT -5
“Ne-ro!” Alex’s high voice sounds right next to me.
I jump, surprised, and flinch away from him instinctively. A worried look crosses his face but he hides it with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, sweetheart didn’t mean to scare you.” He crouches down in front of me and smiles.
I feel my face turning red and look away, “I – Sorry, not your fault.” I manage to say, “W-What do you want me to do now?”
There are ribbons on the floor next to the ladder and I listen carefully as he tells me how to hang them on the wall.
“I’ll cut more lengths of ribbon and tie them, you hang them, ok?” he smiles again and I nod.
I climb up the ladder and reach up to hang the first red ribbon. A sharp pain runs down my back and I wince, hoping nobody saw. I’ll get in trouble if someone finds out about it. Somehow he- my dad- will know somebody knows the truth about the bruises that cover my back.
“Nero!” I almost fall off the ladder I shock. Alex’s voice had been loud; he must have been trying to get my attention. “Nero, are you ok? You were spacing out just now…” he trails off, concern plastered on his face.
I give him the happiest smile I can muster, the pain of the bruise still there.
“I’m fine, I was just thinking.”
He looks unsure, “Why don’t you cut ribbon with me? We can hang it up later.” He looks at the pile of ribbon in front of him and adds, “Or, if you want, we can take a break.”
I nod and climb down from the ladder.
“Come on, I have some papers I left in the auditorium, you can come with me and get them.”
“Ok.” I say and follow him back to the auditorium.
We walk in silence at first, but then he turns to me and stops in front of the auditorium.
“Nero, are you gay?”
I stare at him in shock, and then duck my head down to look at the floor.
“I- uh…” I laugh nervously, “Yeah.”
He bends down a little and I look up from the floor. He’s at eye-level now and his face is close to mine.
“Are you scared of being gay?”
His question takes me by surprise, but I don’t show it.
“A little.”
He takes my face in his hands and his thumb strokes my cheek.
“You have nothing to be afraid of, hun,” he stands back up and pulls me into the auditorium. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here for you.”
He surprises me again by pulling me into a tight hug, and after I get over the shock my arms move on their own and I find myself hugging him back. He rests his chin on my head and raises one hand to stroke my hair.
“How is it that you understand so well and you know how to make me feel better, when I’ve only just met you?” I ask and feel sudden tears threatening to spill.
“Because I know how it feels to be different, and I was scared, too, at one point. But, unlike you, I didn’t have someone there for me. That's why I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
I think of Seth, of how much I like him, but how I can’t tell him because I don’t know if he’s like me. But with Alex, he understands me, and doesn’t hesitate one bit in showing how he feels. He’s such a great person, and even though I just met him, I admire him so much. He’s proud of his sexuality, he’s outgoing, cheerful, and isn’t afraid to express himself.
A tear slides down my cheek and I pull away to wipe it before he sees. But there’s no hiding anything from him.
“Hey,” he says, wiping it away with his thumb, “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath and smile up at him, “I’m sorry, I just…” I shake my head, “Thank you so much.”
He laughs and tilts my chin up, “You, Nero, are the most adorable person I’ve ever met.”
His chocolate brown eyes meet my green ones, and he smiles as I blush.
“Now come on, if we don’t get back soon, people may start to worry.”
“Do you guys want to sleep over?”
I glance at Seth, but he shakes his head, “I can’t, I have to help my parents out at home.”
Bliss looks at me, hopeful, and I smile nervously.
“I’d have to ask my dad…”
My dad. What would he say? He would be mad that I wasn’t home, but if I told him I was going to be at a girl’s house… He’d assume his abuse was working, that I was straight. But I didn’t want to risk it.
“Christy can call and ask.” Bliss says, interrupting my thoughts.
I nod and smile, “If he’s ok with it I’ll come.”
We keep walking until the end of the street where Seth gives us both a quick hug before walking towards his own home. Bliss’ house is just down the street and before we’ve even gotten into the house I can smell something cooking. As I try to figure out what it is Bliss calls out to Christy.
“I’m home!” she yells, adding in a quieter voice when Christy peers around the corner, “Nero’s with me.”
Christy steps into the main hallway and smiles.
“Hey guys, did you have fun at GSA?”
She wipes her hands on her apron and leads us into the kitchen. I still haven’t figured out what she’s making so I look at her, hoping she’ll tell me.
“Today its monkey bread,” she informs me.
“Monkey bread?” I ask a little confused.
Bliss looks up from the folder she’s looking at and laughs, “It’s bread with lots of cinnamon sugar, and it’s really good.”
Christy nods, “So you guys didn’t answer me, how was GSA?”
I glance at her, worried she’s annoyed, but relax at the amusement in her eyes.
“It was fun. Seth and I painted the sign that’ll be in the front of the school, and Nero worked with Alex on hanging ribbons.”
“Alex?”
I smile, “The GSA president.”
Bliss cuts into the conversation, “Christy, is it ok if Nero sleeps over? Can you call his dad and ask?”
A voice in the back of my head tells me to stop her, but I ignore it.
“Can I have your dad’s number?”
I nod and type it into her phone.
She puts the phone to her ear and a moment later, “Hello, is this Mr. Andrews?” a pause, “Yes this is Christy Cromwell; I’m the sister of one of your son’s friends… Bliss wanted Nero to sleep over, is that alright? … Uh, yes.” A confused look crosses her face, “Ok, great, thanks!”
“What’d he say?” Bliss asks as she hangs up.
I find myself holding my breath as she puts the phone down on the table.
“I’m going to drive you guys over to Nero’s so he can get his stuff. You have a key right?” I nod, “Ok, because your dad will be at work.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and smile at the two sisters, “Thanks.”
Silence falls, a comfortable one, and is interrupted by the shrill beeping of the kitchen timer. I jump and glance at the other two, relieved that neither saw.
Christy takes the dish out of the oven, turns it off, and removes her mitts and apron. She then picks up her car keys.
“Come on guys,” she says, ushering us to the door, “Nero, what’s your address?”
She hands me a GPS when we get in the car and I punch in my address, and then hand it back to her. It was only ten minutes to my house and it was spent in silence. When Christy is parked next to the house she turns to Bliss and me.
“I’ll wait out here for you guys.”
We nod and I open the door and get out. We walk up to the door and I unlock it. Before opening it fully I glance around, and I’m shocked but glad to see that the room is clean. I lead Bliss to my room and watch her facial expression change from blank to curious. But my room isn’t anything special. The walls are white, the curtains and bed are blue-gray, and it’s relatively clean, aside from scattered books on the desk and CDs on the floor. I open the closet and pull out a bag and fill it with some clothes, then grab my iPod and some headphones.
“Do I need a pillow or anything?” I ask.
Bliss looks away from whatever she was staring at and shakes her head.
“We have plenty.” She says, “If you want you can sleep in the guest room, otherwise my floor’s pretty comfortable.”
We both laugh at that, and because of the noise I don’t hear the footsteps until it’s too late.
“Who’s your friend, Nero?”
I immediately stand up and face my father. Wasn’t he supposed to be out still? I can see in his eyes he isn’t drunk, but he’s obviously not happy either. His gaze is on Bliss, and when I glance at her I see she’s returning his stare.
“D-Dad… This is Bliss…” I say, trying to fight the fear settling in my gut.
“Is she your girlfriend?”
She must have seen the terror I felt or the look in his eyes, because what she does next is unexpected.
“Yeah.” She says, taking my hand and smiling at him, “He asked me out the other day.”
He nods and the anger in his expression lessens.
“Well, have fun, I’m going somewhere with Bryan.” Meaning he’ll be drinking, “Don’t stay up too late.”
He walks off without another word and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thanks Bliss.”
She nods and gives my hand a small squeeze before letting it go.
“Just promise me you’ll explain later.” She smiles and I nod.
“Nero, let me see your back.”
I had figured this was coming, so I pull my black t-shirt off and Bliss turns me around. I hear the sharp intake of breath and tense.
“Your dad did this to you?”
She’s talking about the bruises. I nod, feeling my eyes watering and forcing the tears back, waiting for her to say something.
“Why?”
I turn around again so I’m facing her. I wonder if I should tell her… Yeah. She’d understand how I feel.
“I’m gay.” She doesn’t look too surprised though, so I continue, “My mom died a few years ago and my dad was usually just sad. He’d stare at the wall for days without moving. Then one day he started drinking and wasn’t around much. We left each other alone, but then he found out I was gay. He beat me and told me he hated me.”
I stop, not trusting my own voice anymore. Bliss sees this and smiles sadly.
“Nero, you can cry if you want to.”
No. I won’t cry again. I can’t. Not in front of Bliss. Not even if Seth was here. Only Alex.
“Have you told anyone?”
I shake my head. I hadn’t told Alex, but I could tell he knew.
“If I told anyone,” I say, steadying my voice, “He said he’d hurt me again.”
I look at the floor as Bliss scoots closer to give me a hug.
“Do you think he’ll stop now? Because you told him we’re dating?”
I’d thought about that. Had he believed it? He must have or he would’ve given me that look. The one that promises me pain.
I nod, “Even if he didn’t, as long as he thinks I understand that what I am is sick,” Bliss’ eyes narrow at that, “He’ll leave me alone.”
Silence follows my statement and I wonder what she’s thinking. But before either of us can say anything, Christy knock on the door.
“Bliss, I need to talk to you!” she says.
“I’ll be down in a minute, ok?”
Christy mumbles a reply and then leaves. When everything is completely silent again Bliss places her hand on mine.
“Nero, if it happens again you have to tell someone. He can’t hurt you if somebody finds out.”
I nod and force a smile.
“Is it ok if Christy knows?”
“Yeah, but nobody else.”
She stands up and reaches out to open the door, but turns back.
“Not even Seth?”
I frown, “He can know.”
“Ok.”
She closes the door behind her and I sigh. It feels oddly refreshing to have shared all that with someone, as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. But even as I feel relieved, a small fear has placed itself where the weight had been, and it brings out the pain in my back. I take a deep breath and lean against the side of Bliss’ bed, hissing when the metal frame presses against a bruise.
Memories of how I got it come back to me, the night I’d asked my dad to sign the form saying I could go to GSA. He’d signed it, but at a price. I remembered how as soon as he set the pen down he’d turned on me, anger clear on his face. He’ swung at me and I’d landed on my side facing the wall. For what seemed like an hour he’d kicked me, yelling at me. He hated me. I was sick. Nobody loved me.
Your mother would be ashamed of you.
That one was the worst. He’d never used that one before, and it had hurt even more than the kicks.
The sudden buzz of my phone makes me jump and as I dig it out of my pocket I can feel my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. I press the answer button and hold it to my ear.
“Nero?” Alex’s voice is full of joy.
I clear my throat, “Hi Alex!”
But even with only two words he knows something is wrong.
“Nero, sweetie, where are you?”
I hesitate, “I’m at Bliss’ house.”
I hear the door open and see Bliss, “One second.” I say and lower the phone.
“Is that Alex?”
I nod and she grins, “Why don’t you guys go somewhere? If your dad calls I’ll have Christy tell him we went somewhere.”
I stare at her, wide-eyed. She nods towards the phone and smiles again. I raise the phone to my ear.
“Alex?”
“I heard Bliss. I’ll be over in five minutes. Text me her address.”
“Ok,” I say, a little shocked about how fast everything is happening.
“See you soon, cutie!”
I jump, surprised, and flinch away from him instinctively. A worried look crosses his face but he hides it with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, sweetheart didn’t mean to scare you.” He crouches down in front of me and smiles.
I feel my face turning red and look away, “I – Sorry, not your fault.” I manage to say, “W-What do you want me to do now?”
There are ribbons on the floor next to the ladder and I listen carefully as he tells me how to hang them on the wall.
“I’ll cut more lengths of ribbon and tie them, you hang them, ok?” he smiles again and I nod.
I climb up the ladder and reach up to hang the first red ribbon. A sharp pain runs down my back and I wince, hoping nobody saw. I’ll get in trouble if someone finds out about it. Somehow he- my dad- will know somebody knows the truth about the bruises that cover my back.
“Nero!” I almost fall off the ladder I shock. Alex’s voice had been loud; he must have been trying to get my attention. “Nero, are you ok? You were spacing out just now…” he trails off, concern plastered on his face.
I give him the happiest smile I can muster, the pain of the bruise still there.
“I’m fine, I was just thinking.”
He looks unsure, “Why don’t you cut ribbon with me? We can hang it up later.” He looks at the pile of ribbon in front of him and adds, “Or, if you want, we can take a break.”
I nod and climb down from the ladder.
“Come on, I have some papers I left in the auditorium, you can come with me and get them.”
“Ok.” I say and follow him back to the auditorium.
We walk in silence at first, but then he turns to me and stops in front of the auditorium.
“Nero, are you gay?”
I stare at him in shock, and then duck my head down to look at the floor.
“I- uh…” I laugh nervously, “Yeah.”
He bends down a little and I look up from the floor. He’s at eye-level now and his face is close to mine.
“Are you scared of being gay?”
His question takes me by surprise, but I don’t show it.
“A little.”
He takes my face in his hands and his thumb strokes my cheek.
“You have nothing to be afraid of, hun,” he stands back up and pulls me into the auditorium. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here for you.”
He surprises me again by pulling me into a tight hug, and after I get over the shock my arms move on their own and I find myself hugging him back. He rests his chin on my head and raises one hand to stroke my hair.
“How is it that you understand so well and you know how to make me feel better, when I’ve only just met you?” I ask and feel sudden tears threatening to spill.
“Because I know how it feels to be different, and I was scared, too, at one point. But, unlike you, I didn’t have someone there for me. That's why I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
I think of Seth, of how much I like him, but how I can’t tell him because I don’t know if he’s like me. But with Alex, he understands me, and doesn’t hesitate one bit in showing how he feels. He’s such a great person, and even though I just met him, I admire him so much. He’s proud of his sexuality, he’s outgoing, cheerful, and isn’t afraid to express himself.
A tear slides down my cheek and I pull away to wipe it before he sees. But there’s no hiding anything from him.
“Hey,” he says, wiping it away with his thumb, “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath and smile up at him, “I’m sorry, I just…” I shake my head, “Thank you so much.”
He laughs and tilts my chin up, “You, Nero, are the most adorable person I’ve ever met.”
His chocolate brown eyes meet my green ones, and he smiles as I blush.
“Now come on, if we don’t get back soon, people may start to worry.”
“Do you guys want to sleep over?”
I glance at Seth, but he shakes his head, “I can’t, I have to help my parents out at home.”
Bliss looks at me, hopeful, and I smile nervously.
“I’d have to ask my dad…”
My dad. What would he say? He would be mad that I wasn’t home, but if I told him I was going to be at a girl’s house… He’d assume his abuse was working, that I was straight. But I didn’t want to risk it.
“Christy can call and ask.” Bliss says, interrupting my thoughts.
I nod and smile, “If he’s ok with it I’ll come.”
We keep walking until the end of the street where Seth gives us both a quick hug before walking towards his own home. Bliss’ house is just down the street and before we’ve even gotten into the house I can smell something cooking. As I try to figure out what it is Bliss calls out to Christy.
“I’m home!” she yells, adding in a quieter voice when Christy peers around the corner, “Nero’s with me.”
Christy steps into the main hallway and smiles.
“Hey guys, did you have fun at GSA?”
She wipes her hands on her apron and leads us into the kitchen. I still haven’t figured out what she’s making so I look at her, hoping she’ll tell me.
“Today its monkey bread,” she informs me.
“Monkey bread?” I ask a little confused.
Bliss looks up from the folder she’s looking at and laughs, “It’s bread with lots of cinnamon sugar, and it’s really good.”
Christy nods, “So you guys didn’t answer me, how was GSA?”
I glance at her, worried she’s annoyed, but relax at the amusement in her eyes.
“It was fun. Seth and I painted the sign that’ll be in the front of the school, and Nero worked with Alex on hanging ribbons.”
“Alex?”
I smile, “The GSA president.”
Bliss cuts into the conversation, “Christy, is it ok if Nero sleeps over? Can you call his dad and ask?”
A voice in the back of my head tells me to stop her, but I ignore it.
“Can I have your dad’s number?”
I nod and type it into her phone.
She puts the phone to her ear and a moment later, “Hello, is this Mr. Andrews?” a pause, “Yes this is Christy Cromwell; I’m the sister of one of your son’s friends… Bliss wanted Nero to sleep over, is that alright? … Uh, yes.” A confused look crosses her face, “Ok, great, thanks!”
“What’d he say?” Bliss asks as she hangs up.
I find myself holding my breath as she puts the phone down on the table.
“I’m going to drive you guys over to Nero’s so he can get his stuff. You have a key right?” I nod, “Ok, because your dad will be at work.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and smile at the two sisters, “Thanks.”
Silence falls, a comfortable one, and is interrupted by the shrill beeping of the kitchen timer. I jump and glance at the other two, relieved that neither saw.
Christy takes the dish out of the oven, turns it off, and removes her mitts and apron. She then picks up her car keys.
“Come on guys,” she says, ushering us to the door, “Nero, what’s your address?”
She hands me a GPS when we get in the car and I punch in my address, and then hand it back to her. It was only ten minutes to my house and it was spent in silence. When Christy is parked next to the house she turns to Bliss and me.
“I’ll wait out here for you guys.”
We nod and I open the door and get out. We walk up to the door and I unlock it. Before opening it fully I glance around, and I’m shocked but glad to see that the room is clean. I lead Bliss to my room and watch her facial expression change from blank to curious. But my room isn’t anything special. The walls are white, the curtains and bed are blue-gray, and it’s relatively clean, aside from scattered books on the desk and CDs on the floor. I open the closet and pull out a bag and fill it with some clothes, then grab my iPod and some headphones.
“Do I need a pillow or anything?” I ask.
Bliss looks away from whatever she was staring at and shakes her head.
“We have plenty.” She says, “If you want you can sleep in the guest room, otherwise my floor’s pretty comfortable.”
We both laugh at that, and because of the noise I don’t hear the footsteps until it’s too late.
“Who’s your friend, Nero?”
I immediately stand up and face my father. Wasn’t he supposed to be out still? I can see in his eyes he isn’t drunk, but he’s obviously not happy either. His gaze is on Bliss, and when I glance at her I see she’s returning his stare.
“D-Dad… This is Bliss…” I say, trying to fight the fear settling in my gut.
“Is she your girlfriend?”
She must have seen the terror I felt or the look in his eyes, because what she does next is unexpected.
“Yeah.” She says, taking my hand and smiling at him, “He asked me out the other day.”
He nods and the anger in his expression lessens.
“Well, have fun, I’m going somewhere with Bryan.” Meaning he’ll be drinking, “Don’t stay up too late.”
He walks off without another word and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Thanks Bliss.”
She nods and gives my hand a small squeeze before letting it go.
“Just promise me you’ll explain later.” She smiles and I nod.
“Nero, let me see your back.”
I had figured this was coming, so I pull my black t-shirt off and Bliss turns me around. I hear the sharp intake of breath and tense.
“Your dad did this to you?”
She’s talking about the bruises. I nod, feeling my eyes watering and forcing the tears back, waiting for her to say something.
“Why?”
I turn around again so I’m facing her. I wonder if I should tell her… Yeah. She’d understand how I feel.
“I’m gay.” She doesn’t look too surprised though, so I continue, “My mom died a few years ago and my dad was usually just sad. He’d stare at the wall for days without moving. Then one day he started drinking and wasn’t around much. We left each other alone, but then he found out I was gay. He beat me and told me he hated me.”
I stop, not trusting my own voice anymore. Bliss sees this and smiles sadly.
“Nero, you can cry if you want to.”
No. I won’t cry again. I can’t. Not in front of Bliss. Not even if Seth was here. Only Alex.
“Have you told anyone?”
I shake my head. I hadn’t told Alex, but I could tell he knew.
“If I told anyone,” I say, steadying my voice, “He said he’d hurt me again.”
I look at the floor as Bliss scoots closer to give me a hug.
“Do you think he’ll stop now? Because you told him we’re dating?”
I’d thought about that. Had he believed it? He must have or he would’ve given me that look. The one that promises me pain.
I nod, “Even if he didn’t, as long as he thinks I understand that what I am is sick,” Bliss’ eyes narrow at that, “He’ll leave me alone.”
Silence follows my statement and I wonder what she’s thinking. But before either of us can say anything, Christy knock on the door.
“Bliss, I need to talk to you!” she says.
“I’ll be down in a minute, ok?”
Christy mumbles a reply and then leaves. When everything is completely silent again Bliss places her hand on mine.
“Nero, if it happens again you have to tell someone. He can’t hurt you if somebody finds out.”
I nod and force a smile.
“Is it ok if Christy knows?”
“Yeah, but nobody else.”
She stands up and reaches out to open the door, but turns back.
“Not even Seth?”
I frown, “He can know.”
“Ok.”
She closes the door behind her and I sigh. It feels oddly refreshing to have shared all that with someone, as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. But even as I feel relieved, a small fear has placed itself where the weight had been, and it brings out the pain in my back. I take a deep breath and lean against the side of Bliss’ bed, hissing when the metal frame presses against a bruise.
Memories of how I got it come back to me, the night I’d asked my dad to sign the form saying I could go to GSA. He’d signed it, but at a price. I remembered how as soon as he set the pen down he’d turned on me, anger clear on his face. He’ swung at me and I’d landed on my side facing the wall. For what seemed like an hour he’d kicked me, yelling at me. He hated me. I was sick. Nobody loved me.
Your mother would be ashamed of you.
That one was the worst. He’d never used that one before, and it had hurt even more than the kicks.
The sudden buzz of my phone makes me jump and as I dig it out of my pocket I can feel my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. I press the answer button and hold it to my ear.
“Nero?” Alex’s voice is full of joy.
I clear my throat, “Hi Alex!”
But even with only two words he knows something is wrong.
“Nero, sweetie, where are you?”
I hesitate, “I’m at Bliss’ house.”
I hear the door open and see Bliss, “One second.” I say and lower the phone.
“Is that Alex?”
I nod and she grins, “Why don’t you guys go somewhere? If your dad calls I’ll have Christy tell him we went somewhere.”
I stare at her, wide-eyed. She nods towards the phone and smiles again. I raise the phone to my ear.
“Alex?”
“I heard Bliss. I’ll be over in five minutes. Text me her address.”
“Ok,” I say, a little shocked about how fast everything is happening.
“See you soon, cutie!”